Missing Husband Report

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:

Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: Suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him..????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain,
height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair,
his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks,
wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes
non veg food, we eat together, we jog together….

And the lady started crying…..

Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first..!!!!

Marriage Humor

Wife : 'What are you doing?'

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband :'I was looking for the expiry date.'


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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife : 'Yes or no.'


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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'


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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'


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Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady..'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'


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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'


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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'


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Son asked his mother the following question:

"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

Cara H1N1 Merebak ???

Agak-agak la, adakah ini caranya wabak selesema babi H1N1 merebak?

Sumber gambar : www.thechive.com

21st Century FACTS

1)Our communication - Wireless
2)Our phones - Cordless
3)Our cooking - Fireless
4)Our food - Fatless
5)Our Sweets - Sugarless
6)Our labor - Effortless
7)Our relations - Fruitless
8)Our attitude - Careless
9)Our feelings - Heartless
10)Our politics - Shameless
11)Our education - Worthless
12)Our Mistakes - Countless
13)Our arguments - Baseless
14)Our youth - Jobless
15)Our Ladies - Topless
16)Our Boss - Brainless
17)Our Jobs - Thankless
18)Our Needs - Endless
19)Our situation - Hopeless
20)Our Salaries - Less and less

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

SeNdal ( Kisah temuduga )

Seorang CEO ingin mencari eksekutif baru dalam syarikatnya. Dari beribu permohonan, hanya empat yang betul-betul menarik perhatiannya.Bagaimanapun beliau tidak dapat memilih antara keempat-empat orang calon tersebut, lantas memanggil kesemuanya untuk ditemuduga (beliau tidak sekaya Donald Trump untuk menganjurkan temuduga seperti The Apprentice).

Setelah keempat-empat calon berada di hadapan beliau, CEO tadi pun mula berkata, "Saya ada satu soalan yang mungkin memberi jawapan berbeza, calon yang memberikan jawapan terbaik akan diterima untuk bekerja di sini" Soalannya adalah:

"Apakah perkara atau benda yang paling pantas sekali?", tanya CEO tersebut.

Calon pertama berkata, "FIKIRAN, kerana kadang ianya datang sendiri tanpa kita sedari"

"Bagus, satu jawapan yang baik", kata CEO tadi.

"Kamu pula?", tanya nya kepada calon kedua.

"KELIP MATA, kerana tanpa kita sedari, sebelum sempat kita buat apa pun, mata kita dah berkelip", jawab calon kedua.

"Satu jawapan yang sangat baik, lagipun perumpamaan melayu pun ada sebut SEKELIP MATA melambangkan kepantasan", kata CEO itu.

"Bagaimana kamu pula?", tanya CEO kepada calon ketiga.

"Kalau kita tengok, lampu KLCC dihidupkan dengan pantas walaupun bangunan tu tinggi. Jadi saya rasa MENGHIDUPKAN LAMPU adalah paling pantas,jawab calon ketiga.

"Jawapan yang terhebat setakat ni. Bagaimana pula dengan kamu?"CEO terus mengusulkan soalan kepada calon keempat dengan merasakan calon ketiga hampir pasti menjadi eksekutif baru di syarikatnya dengan jawapan yang sangat bagus sebentar tadi.

"Setelah diteliti jawapan calon-calon sebelum saya ni tadi, saya rasa perkara yang paling pantas sekali adalah CIRIT-BIRIT", jawab calon keempat dengan yakin sekali.

"Haaa...???? CIRIT-BIRIT ???? Kamu ni tak serius langsung, macamana kamu boleh mintak kerja dengan syarikat saya ni?", CEO terkejut dengan jawapan calon keempat tadi.

"Begini tuan, malam kelmarin saya terjaga di tengah malam dengan rasa sakit perut yang amat sangat. Belum sempat saya FIKIR , KELIP MATA atau MENGHIDUPKAN LAMPU, benda tu dah terkeluar dah......... ....."

Calon keempat diterima menjadi eksekutif baru syarikat berkenaan..

Weird, Amazing and Useless Facts (✖_✖)

[1] If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

[2] If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

[3] Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

[4] The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts', meaning 'the best or nothing.

[5] The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

[6] The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

[7] The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

[8] Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

[9] The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

[10] Dalmatians are born without spots.

[11] The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

[12] Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

[13] Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

[14] When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

[15] When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

[16] The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.

[17] Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

[18] Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.

[19] It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

[20] The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.

[21] The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

[22] It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole
body.

[23] Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.

[24] The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.

[25] In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch and make it look like it is smiling.

[26] Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

[27] The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

[28] Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

[29] Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:
Mizaru (See no evil),
Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and
Mazaru (Speak no evil).

[30] Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

[31] German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.

[32] Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.

[33] A whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

Manchester United (⋋▂⋌)

Manchester Utd 3 - 1 Manchester City

27 JANUARY 2010, OLD TRAFFORD ATTENDANCE: 74,576

The Carling Cup may not top the list of priorities at the start of the season, but there's no denying how sweet the feeling is to reach the final this year at the expense of our Manchester neighbours. Goals from Paul Scholes, Michael Carrick and another dramatic injury-time derby winner, this time from Wayne Rooney, sent the Reds to Wembley at the end of an enthralling 180 minutes of semi-final football.

Manchester United		Manchester City
Paul Scholes (52')		Carlos Tevez (76')
Michael Carrick (71')
Wayne Rooney (90')

Lawak DUN (Dewan Undangan Negeri)

DUN yg paling sejuk . DUN Batu Berendam
DUN yg paling tak de rasa . DUN Air Tawar
DUN yg paling panas , DUN Pedas.
DUN yg paling miskin . DUN Sekupang
DUN yg paling muda , DUN Sri Muda
DUN yg paling lemah , DUN Batang Berjuntai
DUN yg paling basah , DUN Sg Besar
DUN yg kuat makan satay , DUN Kajang
DUN yg banyak hantu , DUN Pucong
DUN yg ada istana , DUN Kota Raja.
DUN yg banyak ikan , DUN Tg Sepat
DUN yg paling keras , DUN Batu Tiga.
DUN paling pendalaman , DUN Hulu Klang
DUN banyak air , DUN Ampangan
DUN banyak penganas . DUN Kuala Kubu.
DUN paling takde kemajuan , DUN Gurun
DUN paling bahaya , DUN Baling.
DUN banyak semut . DUN Kota Sarang Semut.
DUN paling pelik , DUN Sg Ada Burung
DUN ada binatang , DUN Kijang
DUN paling wangi ,DUN Pokok Sena
DUN paling tak cantik, DUN Batu Buruk

How Chinese Learn Multiplication

Cara mudah untuk belajar darab. Tak tahu la macam mana nanti kalau ada budak-budak sekolah buat cara ni untuk jawap exam. Mesti pening kepala cikgu. Budak ni lukis apa? Hahaha. Susah-susah sangat, tekan kalkulator je. Terus dapat jawapan